


Don't you want me?

by Readingfanfics



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Insecure Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, M/M, Misunderstanding, Pining Sherlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-08-31 22:42:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8596639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Readingfanfics/pseuds/Readingfanfics
Summary: Sherlock Holmes has fallen in love with Greg Lestrade so his world crumbles down when he sees Greg kiss someone else.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'll post the next chapter tomorrow cause I didn't spell check it yet and to be honest I don't have the energy for it tonight. I can say that this fic will be a happy ending ;)

Sherlock felt his whole world crumble on Friday. The moment he saw them he wished he could take it back, unsee it, pretend it hadn't happened and still live in that hopeful, silly bubble of possibility. He didn't understand why he felt like that, it was a hole in his chest, a sinking feeling in his stomach that threatened to brag him down.

 

He'd held his breath, eyes wide as he kept watching, the blondness of the girl's hair, the softness of her body, the sound of her kiss on Greg's cheek, the kindness in her eyes as they broke apart and the loving gaze in Greg's own as he offered his arm and she took it.

 

He watched them go, heading to a fancy pub probably, drinking and talking, whispering sweet nothings in each other's ear until they went home, their bodies matching perfectly as they made love.

 

Sherlock felt tears start in his eyes and he finally released his breath, almost like a sob. He should have known of course. Someone as special and precious as Greg Lestrade would never see something in him, except maybe pity and disgust. Sherlock closed his eyes for a second, flashes of his past life coming to mind. He should have known and he was furious with himself for even believing, that for a second, Greg would feel the same.

 

He'd made it up in his mind, the long glances, the lingering touches, the kind words and gentle encouragements. It was all in his head. Greg was just being nice, being kind cause that was the sort of person Greg was. He was compassionate and patient, people were drawn to him instantly. He had an almost magic gift to deal with victims and criminals. He looked at you as if you were worth his time, he made you feel human. He made Sherlock feel human.

 

Greg called him 'amazing, perfect',for everyone to hear. He didn't let other's talk bad about him, he always wanted Sherlock to take credit for his work. He listened to him, gave him a chance and saw something more then the drugs, the arrogance, the wall of indifference.

 

It was no wonder Sherlock had fallen in love with him.

 

 

The next time he saw Greg he felt his heart shatter again. Greg was just as kind and loving as always, a spark in his eyes that Sherlock now knew wasn't because of him but because of her.

 

“Sherlock! A couple of us are heading out to eat something, want to come along? My treat.”

 

Greg placed a hand on his shoulder, a big smile on his face and Sherlock couldn't take it any longer. He saw Sally's sad eyes watch them and he had enough. He turned around, heading out the door and unto the streets, marching home. He didn't get far, Greg caught up with him, placing a hand on his shoulder and making him stop.

 

“Why are you going? What's wrong? Did I do something? Sherlock?”

 

Greg was facing him now, standing too close and Sherlock breathed in his sent, felt his warmth. It nearly made him want to cry but he kept himself in check. He met Greg's eyes, ready to say something cold, detached but when they locked eyes he couldn't anymore.

 

“Let me go Lestrade, I can't do this.”

 

Instead of letting go Greg held him tighter. Sherlock saw and felt the worry in Greg, the way his eyes scanned his face, trying to see what was going on in his brain. Sherlock bit his lip, his hands fidgeting as Greg didn't let go and kept staring. Sherlock felt the beginning of a blush starting in his neck and Greg still didn't let go.

 

“Sherlock. What is going on. Tell me, I'm not going until you do.”

 

Sherlock closed his eyes briefly, the way Greg gave him an order did things to his mind, his body. It was an order but it also sounded kind, gentle. Sherlock couldn't ignore it, he never could.

 

“Don't you need to get back to your girlfriend, I'm sure she is waiting for you.” He did his best to make his voice sound harsh but it didn't really come through. Greg looked at him in confusion, a frown on his face as he eyes rested for a second too long on Sherlock's mouth.

 

“Girlfriend? I don't have a girlfriend.”

 

“Don't play dumb Lestrade! I saw you with her last week, blond,gorgeous, devouring you with her mouth.”

 

Sherlock bit his lip, people in the street were watching them with curiosity and Sherlock felt his blush spread to his face. Greg looked godsmacked, his hands still on Sherlock's shoulder and Sherlock nearly jumped out of his skin when Greg bursted out laughing.

 

“Oh! She is going to love hearing this! Girlfriend, oh my god, that is hilarious!”

 

Sherlock looked at Greg in shock, tears streaming down his face as he laughed. He finally released Sherlock's shoulders and Sherlock pushed him aside, walking away. Anger and humiliation were burning inside his body and he felt like a fool. He was heartbroken and Greg just laught it off.

 

He got to the corner of the street when Greg stopped him again. He let out a noise in frustration and hurt, turning around to push Greg off him.

 

“Get of off me Lestrade! I don't want to be the subject of your amusement again!”

 

Sherlock felt rage inside him as he tried to walk away but Greg grabbed his hand, janking him back adn Sherlock stumbled slightly, his body landing on Greg's.

 

“I'm not laughing at you Sherlock! Please, let me explain!”

 

Greg held on tight as Sherlock tried to get out of Greg's hold. He looked at Greg and Greg's breath caught, seeing the hurt in Sherlock's eyes clearly.

 

“Oh love. Sarah is not my girlfriend, she's my niece.”

 

Sherlock's mind stopped for a second, blinking his eyes fast as Greg reached out and stroked his cheek. He knew Greg had said something important but his mind didn't get past love. Had Greg really said that? He blinked again, shaking his head slightly to try and get it to work, to say something but all that came out was a whispered 'oh'.

 

“She's my niece Sherlock, not my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and don't want one. Sherlock? Sherlock love, talk to me, it's getting scary.”

 

Greg placed his hands on Sherlock's face, concern in his eyes. Sherlock closed his mouth with a snap, finally able to think again and Greg let out a small sigh of relief.

 

“There you are. Though I lost you there for a second love.”

 

Sherlock felt his heart beat in his chest, it was going too fast, too strong. His hands were lightly shaking as he looked at Greg.

 

“Love?”

 

It wasn't what he wanted to say, not really but somehow it seemed the most important. Greg's eyes got wider, a smirk on his face as he leaned in closer.

 

“Heard that did you?”

 

Sherlock just nodded his head. Greg stood so close he only needed to lean forward to kiss him, he licked his lips and Greg's eyes snapped to his mouth, his eyes getting a shade darker.

 

“Can I kiss you Sherlock?”

 

It was a whisper, only for Sherlock to hear and he licked his lips again, thinking it over. It wasn't a good idea, he knew that but he wanted it so bad, wanted Greg so bad. He looked at Greg's face, the kind eyes and he nodding despite his brain raising the alarm. Greg smiled, closing the distance and Sherlock felt on fire as Greg's lips met his. It was thunderstorms and warm summer days. Sherlock's knees felt like jelly as Greg's tongue traced his lips, teasing him, asking to enter. He heard Greg sigh as he opened his mouth and Sherlock made an embarrassing sound as their tongues met. He felt high, on fire and he wanted more. So much more.

 

He pressed closer, their bodies connected as best they could and Greg's hands went into his hair, gliding through his curls. Sherlock wanted to purr, it felt amazing.

 

Suddenly Greg broke them up and Sherlock leaned forward, following Greg's warmth, his heat. He heard Greg chuckle and he opened his eyes, trying to focus as he caught his breath, the taste of Greg still on his tongue. It was intoxicating, it was dangerous but he didn't care. He wanted this, he wanted Greg and it would work this time. It had to work, he could be normal.

 

“Maybe we should get off the street, ey Sherlock.” Greg smiled widely at Sherlock and finally Sherlock was back in the moment. They were standing outside, on the middle of the pavement where everyone could see them. He saw people stare, some with fondness, other's with disgust. He didn't care, he turned back to look at Greg, his bright smile warming him up inside, and he nodded, taking Greg's hand and guiding him home.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Sherlock didn't have time to be nervous or think it over. Greg pinned him against the door the minute they were both inside, claiming his mouth again as he pressed his weight against Sherlock. Sherlock moaned at the heat in Greg's mouth as he kisses him, his hands going to his hair and pulling the curls causing him to stretch out his neck and Greg went for it, going down, licking and sucking every piece of skin he could get at from this angle.

 

Sherlock's hands found Greg's back and he digged his nails in. It felt like the only thing to do to keep from floating. The things Greg did to his neck, his body and mind were thrilling and Sherlock had trouble standing up, his knees weak again as Greg growled near his ear.

 

“Oh Sherlock! I've been dreaming about this for so long! Gorgeous!”

 

Sherlock felt heat rise in his groin and he moved, his half hard dick touching Greg's leg and Sherlock saw star. Greg's hands went to Sherlock's hips, going further down to rest on his arse, pressing them even closer as Greg kissed him on the mouth again.

 

“Gr- Greg.”

 

Sherlock's head fell back to the door and Greg took advantage by sucking a mark on Sherlock's neck, a smile on his face as he looked up at Sherlock.

 

“Gorgeous.”

 

Sherlock moaned and Greg started removing Sherlock's clothes, slowly, looking at Sherlock to see if this was okay. Goosebumps formed as his chest got in contact with the air, his nipples getting hard and Greg went down, licking one before biting it. Sherlock screamed and bucked up and Greg's smile got more wicked.

 

“You're perfect love.”

 

Sherlock's heart melted at the petname, his eyes dark with lust as Greg opened up his pants, going down to his knees and sliding his pants and underwear down. He sucked in a breath as his dick popped free, rapidly getting harder when Greg's breath touched it. Sherlock looked down, moaning at the sight of Greg on his knees in front of him, lust in his eyes as he looked at Sherlock's dick before looking up again at Sherlock, licking his lips.

 

“Let me suck you off Sherlock, let me taste you.”

 

Sherlock shivered at the need in Greg's voice and he swallowed before nodding, already feeling on edge, his body tingling all over as Greg's mouth got closer. His hands went to Greg's hair, stroking it lightly and Greg smiled, licking a strip from base to tip on his dick.

 

“Oh Greg!”

 

His head fell back to the door with a bang and Greg used the tip of his tongue to lick Sherlock's slit, wrapping his mouth around the head only while one hand grabbed his hip and the other played with his balls.

 

Sherlock's skin felt on fire, every nerve in his system was alive and he felt overwhelmed and out of control. His hands grabbed Greg's hair tighter, his knees wobbling underneath him as he felt lightheaded and panicked. Greg's mouth was warm and wet around him and he wanted more but at the same time less and he didn't know what was going on with him.

 

Greg must have known something was wrong, or maybe Sherlock had pulled his hair too tight cause suddenly his dick was free again, throbbing and swollen as Sherlock bucked it up into nothingness.

 

“Sherlock! Sherlock, what's wrong? What did I do?”

 

Sherlock felt warm hands on his face and he opened his eyes, looking into Greg's worried ones and he felt horrible and embarrassed. This was not what he had planned, this wasn't going like it should and he felt shame and disgusted with himself, his mind and specially his body for acting like this. His breath was shallow and he blinked his eyes rapidly, goosebumps on his body as the air around him cooled him down. He felt like a complete idiot and he couldn't look at Greg anymore. Greg needed to leave, now.

 

He pushed Greg away, feeling naked and exposed in his person as he was with his body. His dick was still hard and he grabbed his pants, yanking it on as tears formed on the corner of his eyes.

 

“Sherlock love. Please talk to me.”

 

Sherlock wanted to cry even more as he heard the worry and kindness in Greg's voice. Greg stepped towards him, keeping some distance and Sherlock felt a tear roll down his cheek. He heard Greg's intake of breath and suddenly a gentle thumb catched the tear before it could fall to the ground. Sherlock let out a sob, biting his lip hard right after and stepping sideways, trying to walk away.

 

“Sherlock don't.”

 

Greg's hands were on his arms and Sherlock finally looked up through his lashes, afraid of what he might see on Greg's face. He didn't want Greg to look at him with pity or anger or disappointment. He wanted Greg, he wanted this very much but it was never that easy. People didn't understand, he didn't understand and it always ended with one or both of them upset. Why had he taken Greg home in the first place, he should have said no, should have listened to his brain instead of his heart and body and now it was too late. Now Greg would know what a freak Sherlock really was.

 

“You need to leave Lestrade, I can't. I can't do. I'm.” Sherlock stumble through his words, his cheeks bright red as he looked at Greg, his lips still swollen from kissing. He looked gorgeous and sexy and perfect and Sherlock felt his heart break. He'd been so close and yet so far.

 

“Sherlock calm down. I'm not going anywhere. What did I do wrong?”

 

Greg's voice was firm but kind and Sherlock stood still, staring at Greg with disbelief. He wanted to lie, wanted to brush it off.

 

“You didn't do anything wrong. It's fine, just.” Sherlock stopped when he saw the look on Greg's face, the raised eyebrow, the crossing of his arms, the way he changed his stance. It was impressive and Sherlock felt a shiver run down his spine as he took Greg in. His dick gave a tiny twitch in his pants as Greg took him in, concentration in his eyes.

 

“Don't lie to me Sherlock. Tell me what I did wrong. Did I misread something? Don't you want to have sex with me?”

 

Sherlock shook his head fiercely and Greg let out a sigh of relief. “Good, cause I really want to have sex with you too.” Greg have a smile and Sherlock felt his heart rate speed up.

 

“It's not about not wanting to Lestrade. I want to, very much. It's just. It's too much, it's too much input. I feel...”

 

“Out of control? Overwhelmed?”

 

Sherlock nodded and Greg's hand went to Sherlock's cheek, stroking it softly. He place a kiss on Sherlock's nose before letting go of him, a smile on his face.

 

“I should have realised. I did come on a bit strong I guess. I'm sorry Sherlock, I didn't mean to jump you like that but I was afraid you'd change your mind. That you'd ask me to leave. I'm sorry love.”

 

Greg went to sit on the sofa and Sherlock followed, sitting close to him but not so close that their bodies touched.

 

“You- you don't find me a freak?” Sherlock couldn't keep the surprise out of his voice. It had never happened like this before, most times people got angry and left, other times they didn't leave, claiming Sherlock was just playing coy, acting up, playing hard to get. A few of those situations hadn't ended so well and since then he'd stopped dating people at all. He never got close, he pushed away all the feelings that opened up the door for love. And then Greg had walked into his life and he'd forgotten all about his rules, his laws. He'd began to hope again.

 

Sherlock saw a speck of sadness in Greg's eyes and he wanted to run away, to hide and pretend it hadn't happened, that he hadn't asked. It was better when people thought he was a sociopath, that he didn't have feelings. Greg saw through it all and it made him vulnerable. So weak and terrified.

 

“Sherlock. I do not find you a freak. Never. You are amazing, special. The fact that I'm here, that I got a chance to kiss you, to touch you, it's been so overwhelming. If you need to go slow, I can go slow. I don't mind, I'm not mad and I won't ever find you a freak for telling me your boundaries. I want this to work Sherlock, I want you to feel safe. I'll do anything to make that happen.”

 

Sherlock felt tears in his eyes again as Greg's hand came to his face and cupped his cheek, soft and understanding eyes boring into his. He swallowed down the lump in his throat, relief washing trhough him it almost drowned him.

 

“Can I kiss you Sherlock? Just kissing, I promise.”

 

Sherlock nodded his head and Greg smiled, cupping Sherlock's face in his hands and bringing their lips together again. It was sweat and slow. Greg giving Sherlock time to get use to it, to kiss back tentatively, Sherlock's tongue coming out to taste Greg's lips.

 

Sherlock felt a spark of pride when Greg let out a moan, the pressure on his lips increasing slightly as Greg's tongue came out to trace Sherlock's lips, the tips of their tongues touching. Sherlock opened his mouth a little and Greg followed, Sherlock's tongue entering this wet, hot heat. He let out a moan of his own and Greg's hands went to Sherlock's hair, stroking his curls lovingly as they explored each other's mouth. There was passion simmering there but before it got too much, too insisting, Greg pulled back.

 

Sherlock blinked his eyes, his tongue licking his lips as Greg pressed their foreheads together. Sherlock's heart was beating fast but it wasn't the frightening pace it had been a moment before. His lips were swollen and tingling and Greg's taste lingered in his mouth. Greg exhaled, pulling back, his hands brushing his curls one more time before placing them by his side. Sherlock saw his red mouth, slightly shiny from kissing, the wide pupils, the flush on Greg's cheek and he couldn't keep the smirk off his face.

 

“You're going to kill me.” Greg whispered fondly, taking in Sherlock's face, his eyes resting on Sherlock's mouth. “God, you're gorgeous.” Greg leaned forward again, another kiss between them that took Sherlock's breath away.

 

“Greg.” His hands went to grab Greg's shirt, pulling him closer, moaning as their tongues met again. He moved forward, their legs touching each other, Greg's hands going to his back, down to his hips. He moaned again at the feeling, dizzy with want but Greg gently pushed him back, an apologetic smile on his face as Sherlock pouted.

 

“It's okay Sherlock, we don't have to do this now. Don't force yourself, please. I don't want to force you, don't make me.”

 

“I. Greg, I.”

 

Greg stopped him with a kiss, his hands going through Sherlock's hair and loving the noises it got out of the man.

 

“We'll take this slow Sherlock. It's going to be worth it. I love you, I can wait. Never worry about that, I would never hurt you.”

 

“You love me?”

 

“Yes, for a long time now. I just never thought you. But then this happened and I- god, I don't want to mess this up.”

 

Greg leaned in again, kissing Sherlock with all the love he had in him and Sherlock moaned again, his hands grabbing Greg's shirt and pulling him closer.

 

“I-I love you too Greg. When I saw you with Sarah I- my world just stopped. I- I love you.”

 

“Oh Sunshine. Can I stay the night? Just you know, sleeping,some more kissing. I love hearing you moan.”

 

Sherlock blushed bright red and nodded his head.

 

“Yes, please stay. I- I can't believe you're actually here.”

 

“I'm staying for as long as you want me Sunshine. Bedtime?”

 

There was a mischievous tilt in Greg's voice and Sherlock's blush deepened, biting his lip as he took Greg's hand and got up.

 

They went to bed, kissing and exploring each other, taking their time with gentle touches and kind kisses. Greg found out Sherlock loved endearments and Sherlock found the spot to make Greg go wild. It was perfect and Sherlock fell asleep with a smile on his face, wrapped up in Greg's strong arms, hearing his heartbeat and breathing in his scent. Perfection.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you liked this story. The second part turned out to be more feels then smut, I couldn't help it. Sherlock freaked out and Greg had to help him of course. :)  
> \------------------------------------  
> If I made any mistakes or you want to tell me how you liked it you can comment here or on my tumblr: http://readingfanficswatchingshows.tumblr.com/ 
> 
> If you want me to add tags you can send me an email to: KallistoIndrani@hotmail.com
> 
> I have a blog where you can find sneek peeks, updates and writer's tips: http://readingfanficswrites.tumblr.com/


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